


Guiding Light

by SunshineScorpius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Albus got super soppy, I have no regrets, Insecurities, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Bullying, Self-Doubt, be warned, mild panic attack, people swear and i'm not even sorry, they just love each other so much, this gets a little dark and sad in the middle, young boys in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 05:48:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20848520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineScorpius/pseuds/SunshineScorpius
Summary: After being subject to yet more bullies, Scorpius' thoughts spiral down a dark path and only Albus is able to bring him back to the light.





	Guiding Light

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings for depression and anxiety and bullying.

** 'Cause even when there is no star in sight,**

**You'll always be my only guiding light.**

**[Mumford and Sons - Guiding Light]**

**#**

“Fuck off, Malfoy,” a boy spat, throwing a vial of aconite fluid at him, which clattered to the floor and broke at his feet. Scorpius yelped, jumping backwards and luckily avoided touching any of the poisonous liquid.

“All I’m saying is-”

“Look, you worthless piece of shit, no one gives a fuck,” another boy scorned, narrowing his eyes when Scorpius met his eye.

Scorpius was not going to back down, “but if you just listen to me for one moment, you’ll understand-”

“Mr. Malfoy,” this time, he was cut off by his potions Professor. “Maybe it’d be best for you to take a breather.”

Scorpius gaped, staring at him in disbelief as his tormentors laughed behind him. Just as he was about to protest – to say that _he _wasn’t the one causing trouble – his Professor pointed to the door. He glanced at Albus, who was sitting there with a face full of fury, before he stormed out, just catching the beginning of Albus telling their Professor exactly where to _shove it_ for treating Scorpius like that.

Out in the hall, Scorpius took a deep breath which prompted the water works. Tears came pouring down his face as his heart pounded with his growing anxiety. He threw his body against the wall before collapsing into a sitting position, curling his legs into his body and letting out all his inner misery.

Scorpius was sixteen years old and discovering that he’d never really matter in this world. He was an outsider, a loser, a spare. Someone who never made a significant impact anywhere because everyone would rather he be gone anyway. He was merely a speck of dust in a vast, beautiful world. And no one cared for specks of dust – they just brushed them away. Never a second thought given. Never meaning anything in this cruel, lonely world.

Of course, he did matter. To two people in this large world, he mattered. But what was two people compared to billions? Could anyone really matter in a world where if they die, the only people they’re hurting are their best friend and dad? Some people make a mark, they impact millions. Their deaths shake the nation, like famous musicians or actors, famous potioneers or authors of children books. Those people leave their imprint on this Earth and they’re remembered for centuries after their death.

What was poor little Scorpius Malfoy compared to those type of people?

Nothing. Dust. Less than dust. Scorpius was just a giant nerd who read too many books and ate too many sweets, who panicked over tests and test results, who cried when his favourite book character died, who forgets to live the life he was given because he’d rather stay indoors away from the cruel remarks of awful kids. Who’s biggest fear when faced with a boggart is himself.

Because there was one other thing that Scorpius had learned in his time on Earth: self-loathing. It was fine to be with his best friend or his dad, to escape the wicked thoughts for a short time by getting lost in a book. But when it buckled down to it and the curtains closed around his dorm bed at night, Scorpius was left with himself. The one thing he couldn’t escape from was his brain; his own thoughts; his own body.

He finds himself wondering how even those two people love him. Because can anyone really love you when you can’t love yourself? Can anyone love him when there’s thoughts that tell him he’s worthless and irrelevant?

And he was. He was worthless because his life meant nothing. Not to him. Not to the world. Not even to his dad and best friend, because if he were to die, sure, they’d hurt for a while, but they’d move on. Everyone can move on from tragedy. And how much of his death would really be a tragedy? 

Cause all he was in this vast, beautiful world was a speck of dust. And specks of dust don’t mean a thing. All they are is inconvenient and that was Scorpius’ existence in a nutshell: inconvenient.

“Scor?” That was Albus’ kind and soothing voice breaking through his walls. He always has been able to do that: find him even when he was buried six feet under the thoughts of his own mind. Albus had that effect on him: enchanting and beautiful, the ability to drag him from the darkness with soothing words and gentle caresses.

Scorpius looked up, sniffling slightly as he worked through the rest of his sobs. Albus was kneeling in front of him with a sympathetic smile and wide, sparkling eyes. Albus reached out and took one of Scorpius hands, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles.

“They’re right,” Scorpius muttered, still breathless. “I’m worthless and pathetic.”

“Not to me,” Albus spoke softly, shuffling so he was sitting next to Scorpius up against the wall, never letting go of his hand. “To me, you’re worth everything.”

Scorpius looked at him, searching Albus’ deep green eyes for any sign of lies but finding nothing but honesty. He managed a weak smile despite everything and lay his head on Albus’ shoulder.

“Why do you care about me?” Scorpius asked in a brittle voice.

“Because you’re kind, and loving, and caring. You deserve the entire world and yet all you get is taunted and teased, it’s not fair. And despite all that you don’t let it get to you. You face every day with a smile even when you feel weary on the inside. You have a quiet bravery about you and I admire it, so much.” There was no hesitation, no quiver in his voice. Albus meant every word.

Scorpius lifted his head to look at him, feeling significantly better. Feeling like maybe he did belong somewhere – with Albus. “Do you mean that?”

“Every word.”

Albus brushed a gentle thumb across his cheeks, wiping away any evidence of the tears previously falling. With a whispered voice, Albus said, “If I could give you the entire world, I would.”

Scorpius didn’t know who moved first, but their lips were soon connected in a fiery kiss, connecting puzzle pieces that had long been missing. For a moment, all of Scorpius’ thoughts stopped. He was temporarily in a world where he did matter; a world where he was more than simply a speck of dust; a world where he was given a second thought. That world was Albus’. In Albus’ world he mattered, and maybe that was enough to make him feel special.

When they disconnected, when the world righted itself and Scorpius was just Scorpius, he still found himself smiling. Albus pecked his lips once more, clearly not ready to break their new connection so soon.

Scorpius pecked his lips back before beaming. “I don’t need the whole world, I have it right here,” he whispered, taking one of Albus’ hands and holding it tight – as though the world would fall apart.

“I should have told you sooner,” Albus said. They were so close that Scorpius could feel Albus’ warm breath against his lips and he resisted the urge to lean in to connect them together once again. “You will always be the only thing that matters to me.”

Scorpius smiled almost bitterly. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You don’t,” he said, “you deserve so much more.”

Scorpius – unable to control himself any longer – leaned in slowly to connect their lips, letting Albus’ warmth fill him up. He lost himself to the boy with captivating eyes, unruly hair and a kindness in his heart so pure it would put angels to shame. Albus’ hands found his way to Scorpius’ hair, where his fingers tangled themselves into knots as he pulled him closer to deepen their kiss. When he pulled away, Albus pressed a kiss to the corner of each of his eyes, like he was blessing the tears away.

“I love you,” Scorpius said, the words spilling out of his mouth before he could stop them. They were true, he’d loved him for years, but saying them made it scarily real.

“I love you, to your constellation and back.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.  
Kudos and comments make the world go round!  
Twitter: @sunshinescorp  
Tumblr: sunshinescorpiusmalfoy


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